Love

The world remembers God as the ultimate source of love, the Ocean of Love, the Eternal Flame. God gives – unconditionally – love that is imperishable, universal, and unique. Imperishable in that the love is unlimited, constantly radiating, and totally available. Universal in that the love holds no boundaries or preferences; loving vibrations emanate to all souls of all cultures, races, and creeds. Unique in that the fire of God’s love cleans the heart and soul. Those who tap into such love re-establish the bond of an eternal relationship. Those who experience the spiritual love of God – who “merge with the Eternal Flame of Truth” – are disconnected from falsehood. Such souls have learned the first lesson of universal brotherhood: that all souls have love for one another because they are children of the same Parent. That is called spiritual love.

When the fire of spiritual love has been ignited, individuals begin exercising the will power to set themselves free from bondages of short-lived gratification. Time is invested and effort is made to build an internal stage in which love is revealed on the face and in every activity. With the enlightenment of spiritual love, individuals are less disturbed by adverse circumstances They view dark clouds and storms as opportunities to exercise their internal strength and resources. If others do not give them love, that does not extinguish their flame. They overcome thoughts which may direct them to step away

from a particular person, place, or task. Instead, there is the faith that with effort, they will make a significant and beneficial difference. The more effort is made to love, the more love is received. The spark of effort is love, and true love for effort means to remove whatever weaknesses stand in the way of love.

An entire world can be transformed through loving vision, loving attitude, and loving actions. To create a better world – a world of truth – spiritual love is primary. In a better world, the natural law is love; and in a better person, the  natural nature is loving.

Love is the principle which creates and sustains human relations with dignity and depth. Spiritual love takes one into silence, and that silence has the power to unite, guide, and free people. Love is the bedrock for the belief in equality of spirit and personhood. When love is combined with faith, that creates a strong foundation for initiative and action. Love is the catalyst for change, development, and achievement.

Love is not simply a desire, a passion, an intense feeling for one person or object, but a consciousness which is simultaneously selfless and self-fulfilling. Love can be for one’s country, for a cherished aim, for truth, for justice, for ethics, for people, for nature, for service, or for God. Love flows from truth, that is, wisdom. Love based on wisdom is real love, not blind love; and to discover the secrets of love is to watch the secrets of life unfold.

The basis of real love between people is spiritual. To see another as a spiritual being, a soul, is to see the spiritual reality of the other. To be conscious of that reality is to have spiritual love: each person, complete within, independent yet totally interconnected, recognizes that state in the other. As a result, there is constant and natural love. True love is when the soul has love for the soul. Love for the soul is eternal; the soul never dies. Such love is righteous, and it brings joy. Attachment to that which is perishable is unrighteous, and it brings sorrow.

When spiritual love prevails, neither internal nor external animosity, hatred, anger, or jealousy are possible. Negative feelings are transformed into positive feelings with the coolness of love. In spiritual love there is harmony, since love removes controlling or codependent tendencies and ensures kindness, caring, and amicable understanding

Spiritual love means not dwelling on the weaknesses of others. Instead, there is concern for removing one’s own defects. The method to do that is to “check one’s own pulse ” regularly to monitor how much one has adopted the natural habit of giving happiness, not sorrow, to others. However, true love from the heart also means one cannot bear to see weaknesses in another for whom there is love. There is the pure desire to correct what is inaccurate. Such correction would be carried out, on one hand, with the feeling of love, and on the other hand, with the power of words. There would be balance between the two. When there is too much force in the words or too much love, the result is not successful. If words are too sharp, another may be insulted or put off by bossiness. When one has the right balance of love and power in words, that gives others an experience of compassion, mercy, and benefit. No matter how powerful or bitter the message, it will touch the heart of the other and will be experienced as truth. Human beings have become caught up in a pattern of behavior which has distorted the value of love and the aSpiritual love means not dwelling on the weaknesses of others. Instead, there is concern for removing one’s own defects. The method to do that is to “check one’s own pulse ” regularly to monitor how much one has adopted the natural habit of giving happiness, not sorrow, to others. However, true love from the heart also means one cannot bear to see weaknesses in another for whom there is love. There is the pure desire to correct what is inaccurate. Such correction would be carried out, on one hand, with the feeling of love, and on the other hand, with the power of words. There would be balance between the two. When there is too much force in the words or too much love, the result is not successful. If words are too sharp, another may be insulted or put off by bossiness. When one has the right balance of love and power in words, that gives others an experience of compassion, mercy, and benefit. No matter how powerful or bitter the message, it will touch the heart of the other and will be experienced as truth.

Human beings have become caught up in a pattern of behavior which has distorted the value of love and the ability to trust one another with feelings and intentions. One minute there is love; the next minute that love is broken, resulting in intense sorrow and pain. It is as if the human intellect has lost connection with the One eternal source of love and has taken support from temporary sources. As a result, instead of having one strength and one support from an unconditional source, human souls remain thirsty for true love, even one drop. Without that love, they continue to wander around in distress, searching. bility to trust one another with feelings and intentions. One minute there is love; the next minute that love is broken, resulting in intense sorrow and pain. It is as if the human intellect has lost connection with the One eternal source of love and has taken support from temporary sources. As a result, instead of having one strength and one support from an unconditional source, human souls remain thirsty for true love, even one drop. Without that love, they continue to wander around in distress, searching.

Looks at the total person

Open and honest with each other

Willing to work through problems

Deepens with time

Relationship stimulates individual growth

Verbal communication is high: share values

Willing to wait for sex; mutual respect

Family/friends are for the relationship

Self-controlled, centered on others

Built on trust, encourages other interests

Separation causes reflection/love grows

Share common views, morals, and faith

Has own identity in life and with God

Doesn’t compromise principles/convictions

“He’s hot” – Evaluates outward beauty only

“She’s the greatest” – Blind to faults

“We never fight” – Avoids problems

“It was love at first sight” – Starts off quickly

“She’s my life” – World revolves around person

“When I’m in his arms” – Too much physical

“I just can’t control myself” – Has to have sex now

“We know it’s right” – No matter what others think

“How am I doing” – Self-centered, always taking

“You’re all mine” – Possessive, jealous

“I hate you being gone” – Separation hurts bond

“Those things don’t matter” – Disregard critical issues

“I would die if you left me” – Identity is solely in other

“I would do anything to keep you” – Compromises self

Real love is not blind.  Real love always does a reality check.  If it does not pass, it will not last.  It is possible to experience all the emotions and affections in a relationship, and not be real love.  If my look at Carol would have ended with what I felt when I first looked into her eyes, it never would have lasted.  But at our next encounter, I watched her inwardly, and saw her personality, her character.  It was then that I said to my mom, “If it’s not her, then it’s going to be someone like her.”  This also forced me to take a look inside at my own character.

We are celebrating more than 20 years of marriage together.  I love my wife more than ever…that is to say, I have more feelings for her than ever and I am more committed to her well being than ever.  Because of our commitment to each other, we will grow in love in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, because we are in love!

Real, complete love is forever.  Falling in real love includes attraction; staying in real love takes commitment!

Love, in part, is a feeling.  The Greeks used the word eros to describe romantic love.  Believe it or not, the Bible encourages eros.  The entire book of the Songs of Solomon is devoted to honoring marriage, and how vital romantic love, sex, and intimacy are within the confines of marriage.  I am tired of people putting down this part of love.

Although not complete love, physical attraction to another is part of falling in love.  Love is also a deep commitment for the betterment of the other person – A vow to unconditionally accept and cherish this person, even when the conditions change, even when you feel like leaving.

Real love is both.  I believe commitment and affection are needed to build a relationship that lasts. Try saying to someone that you weren’t attracted to them, but that you were choosing to date them, and promised to be committed to them because that’s what real love is.  I think it’s clear to see that’s not love (and the other person wouldn’t feel loved).  The flip side, which isn’t love either, is having just the feeling good part of love.

Real love will work in good times, and in health, and if things get better.  But love based on feelings alone will never endure the bad times, sickness, or if things got worse.  Maybe that’s why 52% of marriages end in divorce.  I will bet that when they fell in love, they thought it would be forever.  What went wrong?  What happened?  Was it really love?  What is love anyway?  And how do you know if you are in love or only infatuated?  Infatuation has been defined as “being completely carried away by affections,” or “the emotional impulse of love untested by time or circumstance.”  When the feeling part of love is so strong that it blinds us to reality – that is infatuation.  Ray Short puts it this way; “Remember infatuation is a vaccine that immunizes you against seeing anything wrong with the other person.  You tend to put your beloved on a pedestal, a paragon of perfection.  You live in a sort of Romantic Disneyland.”

Oh, the feeling of being in love!  When you know that you know it’s right!  It’s got to be one of life’s greatest highlights.  When it’s so awesome that it’s difficult to put into words…  Just to hear someone say, “I’m in love,” with the tone of their voice floating with emotion.  There’s a sparkle in their eye that proves the fireworks have gone off.  When they can finally say, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before, and I know I never will again.”

That’s the way it was for me when I first laid eyes upon my wife, Carol.  Coming home from camp where we had met, the first thing I said to my mom was, “I met the girl I am going to marry.”  She of course responded, “But Bob, you just met her!”

What my mom didn’t understand was that when I looked into Carol’s eyes I melted.  I can hear people say, that’s not love, that infatuation.  They say love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment.  I disagree, well at least in part.  Maybe I’m a bit of a romantic, but if you take away the affection part of my dating relationship, as well as take it out of my marriage, then you take away one of the greatest joys in my life.

It may take a lifetime to find true love, but when you do, you will have an eternity to share it.

When you first begin to go out with someoneseriously, you have new and unfamiliarexperiences. You start to discover society’s rules for dating and relationship behavior. In addition, you are trying to figure out how to impress someone who is really special to you and how to be yourself in a relationship. You see all kinds of images of what relationships are supposed to be like – but how do you know which ones are the right ones to follow? It’s hard to ignore other people’s examples of relationships – for example, if your mother and father don’t show respect for  each other. But you can decide for yourself what sort of relationships you want to have with your friends and your boyfriends or girlfriends. You can learn to have a healthy relationship and be loved and treated well by someone you care about. Violence is not the way to do it. Respect is.